Nightmare? [The first album]

by Ilseha

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1.
2.
3.
4.
04:05
5.
03:25
6.
04:06
7.
8.
04:00
9.
10.
07:04

credits

released January 31, 2018

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Ilseha Groningen, Netherlands

Ilseha is an artist from The Netherlands.

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Track Name: The calm before the storm
It's all messed up inside
It's all hazy
Like a misty night
Nowhere left to run and hide
This is crazy
Why can't I see
That precious light?
There's just darkness now
Like a cloudy sky
And with it an eerie silence is born
Like the calm before the storm
Like the calm before the storm

It's all messed up inside
It's all hazy
Like I lost my sight
Though my eyes are open wide
I'm a zombie
This is not me
This isn't right
There's just darkness now
Like a starless sky
And with it an eerie silence is born
Like the calm before the storm
Like the calm before the storm

The storm is coming closer
As the darkness sets in
The silence is taking over
Warning for it to begin
The battle can start any moment now
Cold chills running over my skin
I can hear all the voices starting to shout
Please don't let them win...

It's all messed up inside
It's all hazy
No, this isn't right
I see no one by my side
No, it's just me
Yes, it's lonely
In this night
There's just darkness now
Like the pitch black sky
And with it an eerie silence is born
Like the calm before the storm
Like the calm before the storm
Track Name: In love with a ghost
I'm still in love with you
Or with who you were
I know it isn't real
But just how I remember
You
You
I know you probably changed
In the years that passed
But it's like I'm chained
By the dead hand of the past
To you
You

I know these feelings don't make sense
Oh I know, but I can't turn them into past tense
I can't let go

'Cause I'm still stuck
On the memories
I know time has passed
But I can't set myself free
I know I need to
Let go of what was
But I can't seem to
Let go of that love
I'm in love with a ghost
Love
I'm in love with the ghost of you

I'm still in love with you
Or with my fantasy
'Cause after all these years
This image I have can't be
You
You
And after all these years
I still feel love
I wish it wasn't true
But I still think the world of
You
You

I know these feelings don't make sense
Oh I know, but I can't turn them into past tense
I can't let go

'Cause I'm still stuck
On the memories
I know time has passed
But I can't set myself free
I know I need to
Let go of what was
But I can't seem to
Let go of that love
I'm in love with a ghost
Love
I'm in love with the ghost of you

And I know it can't be true
'Cause that image I have of you isn't you
You are not you
And I know it cannot last
'Cause that image is just a ghost from the past
You are not you

But I'm still stuck
On the memories
I know time has passed
But I can't set myself free
I know I need to
Let go of what was
But I can't seem to
Let go of that love
I'm in love with a ghost
Love
I'm in love with the ghost of you
Track Name: Clipped wings
"You're still so young"
"You're getting old"
"Be independent"
"Do as you're told"
It's all so contradictory
I don't know what's expected of me...

"It can't be done"
"Don't give up hope"
"Time to settle down"
"Go trot the globe"
It's all so contradictory
I don't know what's expected of me... Anymore

And now I don't know what to do
I'm just panicking, panicking, panicking
How will I ever make it through
All this worrying, worrying, worrying
I feel like I'm stuck in between
A quarter-life crisis where things
Cause all this pressure and all the stress got me stuck
It clipped my wings
And now I'm panicking, panicking, panicking

"Time to give up"
"Weather the storm"
"Stay true to yourself"
"Bend to the norm"
It's all so contradictory
I don't know what's expected of me... Anymore

And now I don't know what to do
I'm just panicking, panicking, panicking
How will I ever make it through
All this worrying, worrying, worrying
I feel like I'm stuck in between
A quarter-life crisis where things
Cause all this pressure and all the stress got me stuck
It clipped my wings
And now I'm panicking, panicking, panicking

'Cause I'm too old to just sit idly by
And watch others take care of things
But I'm too young still to be seen as wise
Still too young to pull any strings
Sometimes I feel like I am paralyzed
From the confusion that this age brings
And all this stops me from learning to fly

And now I don't know what to do
I'm just panicking, panicking, panicking
How will I ever make it through
All this worrying, worrying, worrying
I feel like I'm stuck in between
A quarter-life crisis where things
Cause all this pressure and all the stress got me stuck
It clipped my wings
And now I'm panicking, panicking, panicking
From all this worrying, worrying, worrying
Yeah I'm just panicking, panicking, panicking

'Cause it clipped my wings
It clipped my wings
It clipped my wings
It clipped my wings
Track Name: Invisible
You were like an angel
In my eyes
You were always there for me
You were always nice
I always thought that I
Didn't deserve someone like you
And I guess you thought that too...

But did you have to go that far?
I know I took you for granted
But what you did
Made me feel like I was hit
With a gigantic wrecking bar
And I still feel miserable
Because you act like I'm invisible
Invisible
Invisible
Invisible

You're still like an angel
In my eyes
Even after everything
I must be hypnotized
I always felt like I
Wasn't the best that you could do
I guess I still feel that's true...

But did you have to go that far?
I know I took you for granted
But what you did
Made me feel like I was hit
With a gigantic wrecking bar
And I still feel miserable
Because you act like I'm invisible

You made me feel like the devil incarnate
'Cause for you to do something like that
I must have messed things up pretty bad
You made me feel like a piece of garbage
Ready to be thrown out just like that...

You could have talked to me
You could have used your words
But you chose to do worse...
You could have talked to me
You could have said something
But you chose to cling
To silence...

But did you have to go that far?
I know I took you for granted
But what you did
Made me feel like I was hit
With a gigantic wrecking bar
And I still feel miserable
Because you act like I'm invisible
Invisible
Invisible
Invisible
Invisible
Invisible
Invisible
Invisible
Track Name: Masquerade
I've been hiding away
Behind a mask
Trying to laugh it off
But the pain still lasts
I've been hiding away
Showing another me
Through a masquerade

All these years
And all I ever did was hide
All these fears
Had grown inside
All this darkness
It felt wrong
But the show must go on

All these years
And all I ever did was act
All those cheers
Were fake, in fact
That happiness
It felt wrong
But the show must go on

I've been hiding away
Behind a mask
Trying to laugh it off
But the pain still lasts
I've been hiding away
Showing another me
Through a masquerade

Always smile when you're on stage
Keep your true self locked in a cage
Don't let your inner feelings shine through
'Cause they might hurt you

All these years
And still I've never shown my face
All these tears
Have flowed backstage
All this sadness
It feels wrong
But the show must go on
Track Name: Nightmare
I feel weird in my own body
I know it's me but something's not right
I can't see clear, everything's all foggy
I guess it won't be a peaceful night

My dream seems to have turned into a nightmare

Dark goo is oozing from the ceiling
I want to run but I can't even walk
I can't really place this strange feeling
I want to scream but I can't even talk

My dream seems to have turned into a nightmare
A peaceful moment of bliss has turned into a weird scare

Big eyes are watching from a corner
Although they don't seem to be looking at me
I turn around while I get chills from horror
I feel a presence but there's nothing to see

My dream seems to have turned into a nightmare
A peaceful moment of bliss has turned into a weird scare
All I wanted was a little rest, it's just not fair

Got blood on my hands, but I blink and it's gone
I'm caught on fire, but I blink and it's gone
My hands are tied up, but I blink and it's gone
It makes no sense, what the hell's going on?!

My dream seems to have turned into a nightmare
A peaceful moment of bliss has turned into a weird scare
All I wanted was a little rest, it's just not fair
Can someone please help me wake up from this nightmare?

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Wake up!
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Wake up!
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Wake up!
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Track Name: Kissing frogs?
So I still haven't found
My true love, that special someone
No sign or sound
Have I missed him, is he long gone?
What can I do?
Kiss all frogs till I find the one?
Don't say that's true
Oh, no...

I don't wanna hop
From one to another
I can't just drop
My feelings and jump
In at the deep end
Oh, why even bother?
I'll never dare to dive right in...

I do wanna try
Dip my toe in the water
But I can't lie
To my own heart
I'm still not ready
So why even bother?
I don't belong in that pool of love...

So I still haven't found
My true love, that special someone
No sign or sound
Have I missed him, is he long gone?
What can I do?
Kiss all frogs till I find the one?
Don't say that's true
Oh, no...

Oh I know I
Need to get out more
And I do try
But it's just not me
I'm used to hiding
Save in my own bubble
No, I just can't jump in with both feet...

So I still haven't found
My true love, that special someone
No sign or sound
Have I missed him, is he long gone?
What can I do?
Kiss all frogs till I find the one?
Don't say that's true
Oh, no...
Track Name: Zombie
I feel like I'm sleeping
But I'm not in my bed
I feel like I'm drifting
An outer body experience or something like that
I'm feeling exhausted
Like I'm in a trance
I feel like I lost it...

I feel like I'm living my life like a zombie
I'm just standing here and let life pass me by
I can see everything that's happening around me
But I'm not in control

I feel like I'm tipsy
But I haven't touched a drop
I feel like I'm tripping
A psychedelic experience which I can't stop
I'm feeling lightheaded
Like I'm in a trance
I feel like I lost it...

I feel like I'm living my life like a zombie
I'm just standing here and let life pass me by
I can see everything that's happening around me
But I'm not in control

I lost control and I just can't find
The switch to get me in charge inside

My body won't do what I want it to do
I feel like a zombie, like I'm sleeping through
All of the best parts, I wish I just knew
How to wake up and how to start anew
I want to take charge but I just have no clue
How to break through...

I'm a zombie
zombie
zombie

I feel like a zombie
Like I'm sleepwalking through life
I feel like I'm not me
Depersonalization in some ways sounds right
I'm feeling distorted
Like I'm in a trance
I feel like I lost it...
Track Name: I just don't know
I don't know what I want
I don't know what I need
I don't know
I don't know
I just don't know

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
I don't know
I don't know
I just don't know

I just don't know where my life is taking me
I just don't know and it makes me scared... sometimes
I just don't know who I'm meant to be
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know anything

I don't know who I am
I don't know who to be
I don't know
I don't know
I just don't know

I don't know where I stand
I don't know where to go
I don't know
I don't know
I just don't know

I just don't know where my life is taking me
I just don't know and it makes me scared... sometimes
I just don't know who I'm meant to be
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know anything

But all these questions arise
Which I don't have the answers to
I just don't know
Will I ever be alright?
Will I ever make it through?
I don't know
I just don't know

'Cause I don't know what I want
I don't know what I need
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to say
I don't know who I am
I don't know who to be
I don't know where I stand
I don't know where to go

I just don't know
I just don't know
I just don't know

I just don't know
I just don't know
I just don't know anything...
Track Name: Dark voices
I keep hearing these voices
These dark, dark voices
They're stuck in my head
And all these dark voices
Sabotage my choices
They make me go mad

They're closing in on the win
And there's no place to hide
Mutiny from within
A constant fight inside

I keep hearing these voices
These dark, dark voices
They're yelling at me
And all these dark voices
Sabotage my choices
'Till I start to agree

That I'm not worth a thing
That my life's a mistake
That I only bring
Pain and heartache

But what if those voices are right?
They seem to know me through and through
I try to tell myself that they are all lies
But in my head it all sounds so true
Oh, what if those voices are right?
I just don't know what I should do
All the darkness is blocking the light
Please let it all end soon


I kept hearing these voices
These dark, dark voices
They were wishing me dead
And all these dark voices
Sabotaged my choices
Until I said

Enough with these voices
These dark, dark voices
Stop driving me mad!
Now all these dark voices
Are no longer voices
They're soft whispers instead

So what if those voices are right?
I too know myself through and through
Even if those voices aren't telling lies
The positive ones are also true
So what if those voices are right?
They cannot tell me what to do
After embracing my darker side
The light came shining through

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